The Tousled Lioness

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See, that’s what the app is perfect for.

Sounds perfect Wahhhh, I don’t wanna
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Im doing well with the low carb diet and feeling a lot better than I have in a while. Stopping my antifungal meds helped a lot too, I think stress has been causing the candida stuff, since it’s been almost gone lately but then seems to spike if I get stressed out enough to tense up physically.

Which I’m doing a lot of today since finding out my thymus is mildly enlarged and the imaging techs recommended a surgery consult. Which is fucking stupid since they’re just technicians, why not wait for a real doctor to actually interpret it given my actual medical history? Especially considering that they probably think it’s just as useless as an appendix, despite being responsible for T cell growth, even into adulthood, as well as helping the immune system function in general. I’m afraid that if I get it removed I’ll just get something much worse down the line and/or it’ll fuck with my hiv since that’s p much what current studies say in 2023 as opposed to whenever they initially went to school.

I’m trying to reassure myself that everything will be okay, and lowering my stress by reminding myself that it’s safe, and I’ll be just fine, especially since I was doing wonderfully this morning before my appointment, and even afterward before reading the results, but it’s hard when I just keep getting my shit kicked in by life constantly it feels like. I’d love to remotely catch a break.

I’m still not even on disability yet since my therapist took 5 fucking months total to actually send my letter to me, and now I’m not even sure it’s worth anything since it’s just two sentences mentioning anxiety and ocd, not mentioning my other disorders or even the word “disability” in it at all. I have an appointment with legal help soon and I’ll ask them if this is good enough, but if it’s not I’d be real tempted to firebomb her office or something because jesus fucking christ. But yeah I hope I can just deal with t the thymus stuff by continually lowering my stress levels and possibly like thyroid meds or something if needed. I don’t wanna die early because some piece of shit thug decided to rape me when I was 18 lol

purrsonal

I’ve been so tired and unable to do anything really since my fungal stuff got worse in April. I’m finally nearing the end of treating it within a week or two I think? But it comes back so strong so quickly and I have no idea why.

I’m supposed to stop for a month at the beginning of October and then be checked out a month later to see if there’s anything left, but if I stop prematurely I’m p sure I’m gonna be needing to take it again in days instead of in a whole month :( just like the past few times I’ve stopped, I ended up in the ER twice for my bpm and and blood pressure being elevated

I’m just alternating between vaping, playing alpha protocol, and taking my liquid swish meds lately when I’m not sleeping 9-10 hours. I hope my vaping isn’t affecting it at all :x

purrsonal
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